‘I always wondered what it would be like to worry about money again. Remembering when money was disposable, like cigarette butts.. or my life at the time.. disposable.. literally.’
1 (of an article) intended to be used once, or until no longer useful, and then thrown away: disposable diapers | a disposable razor.
• (of a person or idea) able to be dispensed with; easily dismissed: the poor performer is motivated by the fear that he or she is highly disposable.
(credits to Dictionary App on Macbook)
I seem lately to really be struggling financially. It is a really hard deal when you want things, that you can’t buy. Being a broke 21 year-old sucks, and yes it makes me remember my $10,000 monthly income at 20. This is what selling myself against my morals did to me. I easily lost the value of a dollar because all I needed was myself to make it back. But isn’t that somewhat.. invigorating? I do not shame sex workers, as regardless I believe stripping is sex work. (PERSONAL OPINION) And stripping was my life for over a year.
How I am Dealing With This:
Literally, by embracing every small, tiny, thing, in my life, that is SOLEY mine. For instance, I got approved for amazing health insurance and that is a big deal. OR, i’m loosing weight in a healthy way by staying more active. I realize this is hard to do, compared to a $4oo Victorias’ Secret shopping spree. Retail therapy was and is a thing for me, and it gets bad. Try to take something small, and make it much larger. ‘Because it is yours, & that’s important.’