‘This one is for the girl who was molested as a little girl, the girl who lost her virginity by force, or the girl that simply gave in for fear of rejection.’
How do you forget the moment where you have changed from a girl to a woman? At least that seems to be the way people make it seem to be. This is a hard topic to write about simply because of different opinions. I don’t like to pretend I understand how others feel, so for this post- i’ll write my own experience.
The reactions I get from people when I tell them how old I was when I lost my virginity- well they are not always so good. I was 13, and it just so happened my boyfriends mother let us be alone on their third floor. I remember being persuaded, and wanting to throw up the entire time. It did hurt, and I hated it.
Women- we carry these feelings with us! I can relate that experience directly to my constant desire for a woman- sex with men was always associated with.. a requirement? Regardless, I felt like I didn’t do ‘sex’ the right way maybe? Or that I was just not meant to experience it. I still struggle with this today, anything involving my vulnerbility and body is delicate for me anyway.
Today, I have learned to accept that this is my experience. I can chose to hate it or embrace it, it is my choice how I direct those feelings. You are not dirty because you experienced young, it makes you a wondering soul and that is beautiful. I enjoy those who crave life’s experiences.